Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
