what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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