Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
