haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
