so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
