i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
