Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
my nose is crying tears of wow.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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