I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
