Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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