I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
