So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
