I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
