Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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