You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My dick has a subreddit
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
