I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just invented taco cereal.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
