You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Randomize
