So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm at about main and main street
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize