I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
