Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
