Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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