Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
