i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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