well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
