and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
