I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
