marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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