Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
