my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
