Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
