Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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