Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
