yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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