I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
