I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Couch. On fire.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
