my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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