Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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