32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
