you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
