Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
