i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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