Grow some girl-balls and come out already
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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