i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
