Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
