bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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