that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
