Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
