my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
