They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
