I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
