He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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