i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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