porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
