Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
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