Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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