4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
