Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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