im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i now understand why vodka
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
