Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Randomize
