Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i've created a new STD.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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