im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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