Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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