I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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